why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so let's talk penis.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
