I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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