is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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