shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
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Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
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Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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