flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
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I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
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It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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