question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
