I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
