just tell him i said nine months
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
