i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
