Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
being pregnant is like rehab
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
