Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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