well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
