Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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