You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
