just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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