Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
