My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
