By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
