Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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