i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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