The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
