but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just pee around me
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
