Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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