gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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