I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
