if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
