wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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