he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
