I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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