i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
