Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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