i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
