Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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