Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
