I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
