my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
