I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
