Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
