I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
