Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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