Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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