I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize