overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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