Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
