yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
