Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
