I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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