Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
