Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize