Pants 0. Shit 1.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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