i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
