I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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