fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
