My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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