There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
