Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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