are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
