Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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