in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I enjoy the company of your penis
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
