spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
