Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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