shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
