Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
