She said her name was "party"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
