I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My ATM looks so different sober.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
